Motherly Instinct

A couple of weeks ago me, Sid, and K went by K's friend's house. We don't really go over there for one main reason: we're afraid of his kid. His son is not much older than Sid but he is probably three times his weight and 1.5x his height. This kid doesn't know what to do with himself or his strength. Plus, I don't think he's quite all there unfortunately. Anyway, one time we were over there and the boy gave Sid one thump sending him reeling back to the wall and crying. It all happened so fast the boy's older sister who was standing right beside them didn't even have time to react. The boy got a reprimand. Fine. But you can still imagine me sitting on edge during this recent visit. When his sister, who is about six years older than he is, walked in the front door he grabbed her and literally threw her to the side. She and the cake she was carrying went flying. I stood there with my mouth open. Barely a reprimand this time. His father and mother were both there. Then he found Sid. As he reached his arms out toward Sid's unsuspecting back I said, "Don't even think about it." Of course, everyone turned to look at me but I didn't care. I didn't know what that boy was going to do - intentional or not. K chalked it up to my maternal instincts kicking in, esp. with me being pregnant. Regardless, I kept a close watch on that kid's every move, unpredictable as he was.

That poor kid was always too much for his mother and his father had the "boys will be boys" attitude and never curbed his over-aggressiveness. I fear what he will be like when he becomes a teenager.

We've finally run out of diapers. Normally, at night, if Sid has had a lot to drink in the evening we'll put a diaper on him right before he goes to bed. last Thursday night we used the last one. All weekend long, in Georgia, he didn't wet the bed once. Probably because his father would wake him up in the middle of the night to take him to the bathroom. Last night we got home after 11 pm. Sid was sent to the bathroom and then to bed. Sure enough, when I checked on him at 3:30 am he had already wet his bed. *sigh* So, I took him the bathroom, changed his clothes and sheets and put him back to bed. This morning he was still dry. It's going to be a long week.

I don't know how the potty training will go with the next baby seeing as it looks like it will be a girl. I don't if the gender makes a difference. Sarccastik asked for potty training tips but I don't have many. Keep in mind that Sid only stopped wearing diapers a few months ago when he turned three years old. I just told him one day that he was a big boy and that he wouldn't be wearing diapers anymore. From then we just made sure that anytime we were about to leave somewhere he would be made to use the bathroom. Plus, we watch his mannerisms. If he starts grabbing his penis too much I ask then I know he needs to go. What would a girl do??

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On the way home last night we passed a few cars having been pulled over for speeding. Sid would ask, "Is that a accident or purpose?"

Why does this boy keep finding himself in my bed in the middle of the night?? Last night the poor thing came in asking for water. I was too out of it to get up and my husband never even knew Sid was there. Needless to say, he didn't get his water.

Sid has taken to doing baby-talk these days. Maybe it's because a baby is coming, I don't know. We've never encouraged baby-talk around him.

I worry about you, Sid. I find my self yelling at you more lately. I believe it's a combination of your sudden hyperactivity along with your refusal to hear me when I speak and added to the fact that I'm pregnant (= tired, cranky, etc.). I'm sorry, baby. Things that I know to expect still bother me. I expect you to jump all over the house and on the furnitured. I expect you to get yourself dirty after I just bathed you. I expect you touch things even after I have ordered you not to. But I guess I also expect you to listen to me more. I know you will listen to your father more readily - I expect that too. But when it's a reality it's frustrating. I still tell you I love you every night when I tuck you in. I still want to hug and squeeze and pinch you and hear your free laughter. You're my baby-love, always.

On the floor?

Last night I heard Sid wake up crying. I think he called to me and I answered back. I thought he was going to come into my room and bed but he never did. He eventually went back to sleep. When K got up to use the bathroom he went to take Sid also and found him asleep on the floor. He says it didn't look like he fell out. I wonder how he got there. Did he want to come to me but it was too dark? Poor baby. If there's a next time I'll definitely try to force myself to go and check on him personally right away.

The Babies at the Beach (Apr 30 '06)

The Cars

For Easter our neighbor bought Sid a pack of treats - plastic cars and candy. These poor cars have barely lasted a week. The wheels have broken off along with various other parts. Last night we found one of bigger vehicles in pieces next to my bed. K said he was going to throw out the car and told Sid to say 'bye'. So Sid says, "Bye, car." K and I looked at each and laughed. Sid realized it was a joke and said, "You was jus' kiddin'?" TOO FUNNY!

I'm So Alone

Last Friday we moved Sid's crib into his and his sister's room. We figured the best time would be on a weekend when she's there so he won't feel like he's thrown in a room all alone. Friday and Saturday nights he did fine in there with her. There are many weekends when he asks to sleep with her so we knew it would go alright.

Sunday night she was gone. I put him to bed and the boy must have woken up at least three times asking me to sit with him, which I did. Then I would leave when I figured it was safe. The last time he woke up I found him sitting up. He said to me, "I don't want to sleep in my crib," in a sad voice. I asked him why. He didn't respond. I told him he needed to answer me. He replied, "I don't know." I was very ok with that answer. He was being honest. He really didn't understand that he felt alone. I picked him up and hugged him and told him ok, he could sleep with me, and as we lay down in my bed I told him that the next day I would make sure to buy him his own light for his room so that it wouldn't be too dark for him.

Monday came and while doing some grocery shopping we picked up a night light. That night I didn't have to do much to get him in his room. I plugged it in and showed him that it wasn't so dark anymore and he was fine with it. He didn't wake up once that night. As a matter of fact, when he woke up Tuesday morning the first thing he said to me was, "I'm a big boy. I didn't cry for anybody." How cool is that?! Of course, I could do nothing but hug him and agree. Tuesday night he again went to sleep without a problem. He did ask me to sit with him at first so I tucked him in, rubbed his back a bit, then lay on his sister's bed. Not much later I left and he was still laying there singing to himself. He never felt the need to call me back.

The title of the post is, "I'm So Alone" because, well, I almost am. He's no longer within arms reach of me. I used to be able to put my arm through the slats in the crib and tickle his feet. Now I have to watch myself to make sure I don't roll off the bed and onto the floor!